If you broke up lately and your ex left, you probably think this is because you have not been nice enough with him or her. Many people think alike, and they try to get their ex back by being desperately nice and affectionate. Nevertheless, it is probably the worst thing to do. Would you do the same with anyone else? Of course not. If you just sit back and think about it, you will understand that most people - including yourself - are more interested by autonomous people who are not constantly trying to please the others. What will make your ex interested in you again is challenge and excitation, not excessive kindness and friendliness.

One of the most crucial points is to avoid a one-sided relationship, because there is no challenge for the other. There should always be a kind of interactive game, with always new constituents to keep interest up. Your ex should realize that being with you is exciting and challenging, and that you could provide him or her with what they wish. This is totally the reverse of being inactive and demanding, as most people are when they attempt to be overly nice with their mate. What you need to realize is that your sentiments must not be the main driver of your acts. The main driver should be your perception and understanding of the real level of interest and excitation of your mate.

While this need for surprise and excitement is general, you might nevertheless ask your ex what they await from a relationship. This should not circle around you or what you should do, because the reply will have no value at all. It should actually be about what your ex awaits from relationships and life as a whole. By putting yourself out of the equation, you will get much more valuable answers, and you will have a much more clear-cut picture of what your ex really awaits. This way, you will be able to implement the correct alterations and to start sparking off a renewed concern from your ex.

The alterations you introduce should be progressive and should let plenty of room for surprises and excitement. Your ex should get aroused and should try to guess what you are going to do. Those alterations should be the consequence of your acts only. You should not be sententious or make speeches about how much you have understood him or her, as this is the best manner to destroy all your credit. Acting in a slightly unpredictable and stimulating manner is much more efficient and will draw your ex's attention. He/she will also want to be involved and to play a part in your life again.